Wednesday, September 10th at 12:01am

I don’t even know how to start this thing.  All I know is that I really want this blog to become a habit of mine.  I need to be able to post things to get them off my chest.  I also want a place to post how I percieve the world through a camera lens.  I feel like I see things differently, ya know?  And I know that’s a tad bit silly to say since everyone truly does see the world in a different light.  All I have to offer is what I’ve experienced and what I’ve seen since I started paying attention and taking notes on life.  I know I’m not perfect - no one is.  But I try and be the most perfect me I can possibly be.  I’m so cliche and I’m sorry.  

I’m not the skinniest girl, nor the prettiest by any means.  I have a few pimples on my face that really stand out.  One in particular that I’ve decided looks like a mountain - right in the middle of my chin.  It’s quite annoying and I’ve been self conscious about them for almost a week now.  I normally don’t break out unless I’m really stressed out about something.  And the only thing that I can possibly think that would cause me this much stress is money.  I love my job but the fact that they’re only giving us one or two days a week is absolutely ridiculous.  I have bills to pay and with my paychecks being shy of $100, this isn’t acceptable.  

I’ve looked in the mirror twice today and my first thought was “I’m beautiful.” Well…minus the humongous pimples I have on my face.  But even with that, I’ve come to the conclusion that I looked fantastic today.  I’ve been struggling with self confidence for quite some time now and for me to say those two words, I found it baffling.  My hair was straightened, my makeup made my eyes pop, and I was completely caught off guard when I saw my reflection.  I’m really starting to think of myself as beautiful instead of ugly.  I have my imperfections, sure; everyone does.  But I feel beautiful, god dammit.  And that doesn’t happen often.  

I’m rambling.  I don’t really know what else to say.  Hopefully my posts will be better as I continue to post and write every day.  I have to stick with this; it will keep me sane with all that has been going on in my day to day life.  I only hope I can keep it up.